29 7 / 2014

Me: (walks in on a dude as he is on the phone with his girlfriend, who he was living with before coming to the hospital 3 days ago. He hangs up, calling her “mi amor”)

Dude: Hey so I need you to find me a place to live for a few days, because my girlfriend is mad at me

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(Source: fark.com)

29 7 / 2014

already over Chris Pratt as a Thing

28 7 / 2014

"I read only young adult. I just feel like it gets me. Both TV and literature that is aimed at girls who are about fifteen, sixteen years old seems to be my sweet spot for where I am, emotionally, as well."

Jason Mantzoukas (x)

I had a real discussion with my roommate about what part, if any, of this was authentic

(via misswompler)

28 7 / 2014

The thing where you spend all day trying to get someone back to the nursing home they came from and then the insurance turns out to be a bunch of jerks who make you wait until 4:45 just to tell you they’re not going to authorize it today

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And then all the doctors and the nurse and the case manager all want to know in detail what exactly went wrong and how and why

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(Source: giphy.com)

28 7 / 2014

I’ve been trying for at least a year to find a “lateral” internal position to move into, mostly to get away from my shitty case manager (who is not unlike an emotionally abusive work partner) and the shitty pilot program they have us doing. 

After two failed tries, an interview with a new manager and a lot of sneaking around and finagling I literally was on the phone with an HR person today who told me, VERBATIM “Congrats! I’m gonna send you the job offer as soon as I confirm the start date in your new position with your manager.”

Then half an hour later the manager paged me and was like “Oh someone with more seniority might want to apply we have to see what we can do, I’ll get back to you….”

I SWEAR TO GOD

25 7 / 2014

Patient who is on methadone called the nursing home I got him into (after spending like an hour getting him accepted and an hour and a half getting him insurance authorization) and told them that he’s gonna need a higher dose when he gets there

so then they were all “NOPE SMELL YA LATER” and his wife called and was all “MY HUSBAND IS AN IDIOT” and I was all 

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24 7 / 2014

"We can’t keep you in the hospital just because you’re a racist"-what a co-worker suggested I say to a dude who is refusing an outpatient dialysis spot because of the neighborhood it’s in

22 7 / 2014

the-last-teabender:

Robin Thicke is unapologetic about how rapey ‘Blurred Lines’ is, meanwhile the dude who parodied it issues a public apology for one word.

I am not exaggerating when I say that if Weird Al were available I would marry him RIGHT NOW

the-last-teabender:

Robin Thicke is unapologetic about how rapey ‘Blurred Lines’ is, meanwhile the dude who parodied it issues a public apology for one word.

I am not exaggerating when I say that if Weird Al were available I would marry him RIGHT NOW

(via cognitivedissonance)

22 7 / 2014

I went to see Mamma Mia! with my mom because we’re rubes.

She got upset that they weren’t gonna do Waterloo but they did

Then I bought a bunch of clothing from Old Navy because BIRTHDAY

20 7 / 2014

latinorebels:

No explanation needed.

latinorebels:

No explanation needed.

(via face-down-asgard-up)